The rumour is that LiveJournal got bought out by some communist organization and it could be deleted entirely any day now.
All my LJ posts have been archived elsewhere so I won't lose all I've written in the last 4 years.
Now I am setting up several other online journals to secure awesome usernames before the entire internet panics and all the good names are taken.
So far, I've checked out InsaneJournal (slow), DeadJournal ($$$), DreamWidth (requires invite by a user), Blogger, VampireFreaks, MySpace and Facebook.
I wonder where everyone will go once LiveJournal bites it?
EDIT: the company that bought LJ apparently also owns a significant number of shares in Facebook and Twitter as well, and has decided to LINK all these applications. See my next post (Sept 2010) for details...
16 January 2009
21 August 2005
10 Simple Rules for Dating Me
Disclaimer: If you are ever going to deal with me (especially in a relationship capacity), these are the simple truths of who I am and what I'm about that you need to know and understand.
1. I am poly. No one person will ever be enough to meet all of my needs. I can absolutely love steak, and prefer to eat steak all the time whenever I have a choice, however, not all my body’s needs are met by what steak alone has to offer; I also need what can be found only in fish, and only in chicken, and so on. It is not steak’s fault it doesn’t also provide what can be found in fish and chicken; steak is a wonderful thing all on its own and I can love it for itself and all it has to offer. But I also recognize that I do inevitably have to get other things from other foods besides steak. (And, to a lesser extent, I need variety so I don’t get bored. I can better appreciate the taste of steak when I’ve had the monotony of it broken up by other foods.)
2. I need the freedom to choose for myself whether or not to become involved with people. I can not stand being restricted to monogamy by a partner. If this is the case, I begin to resent said partner for controlling me and my decisions in my own life, and the resentment turns bitter and even hateful and I find I want to cheat as a means of rebelling against him and breaking the stranglehold I feel he has on me.
3. I am an incorrigible flirt. A lot of the time it is simply a means to compliment people and boost their self-esteem. In a world where there is so much negative feedback, I think people need more positive reinforcement. I do not consider my flirting as a means to get laid, and I think people put far too much emphasis on it as such.
4. I am bisexual. I am gender-blind in that I find people attractive or just plain sexy, regardless of whether they happen to be male or female. However, girls are still different from guys, and I have different needs of mine met by girls than I do by guys.
5. I don’t “do” girls just because they’re bi or female or willing to engage in threesomes. (Just cuz you’re a straight guy doesn’t mean you’ll fuck EVERYthing in a skirt.) Just because some guy finds 2 or more women attractive and wants to have them at the same time, doesn’t mean that the women he finds attractive will find eachother attractive. This is where I get all pissy thinking guys have been brought up to believe the bullshit fantasies in the male-dominated porn industry where, in actuality, it isn’t a fair threesome dynamic that is being enjoyed but multiple women catering to the man’s fantasies. Men in general just don’t seem capable of wrapping their brains around the fact that the women involved in the threesome are actually quite interested in the other woman and being with the other woman, and that they are both in the threesome for the purposes of being in an equal give and take multiple-partner orgy situation. If you want to indulge your fantasies of having multiple women worship you, then go rent some hookers.
6. I am fiercely independent and need my space. I like to come and go as I please, not having to “check in” with anyone, telling them where I’m going, with whom, when I’ll be back, etc. etc. I hate being chased after, hunted down, and forced to account for my absences and detail who I spent my time with. I can not stand having to explain my need for space, or to have to justify that I do, in fact, have such a need in the first place. I wasn’t an only child, but there is a significant age difference between myself and the remainder of my siblings (both of which are very close in age and therefore raised similar to twins), and whenever we did things as a family each parent would pair off with one of my brothers and I was always “odd man out” and had to keep myself company. As a result, I’ve become quite comfortable being alone and spending time with just myself. People must trust that my space is just me spending time with me, and should in no way be seen as a threat to any relationship with them.
7. Trust is big. If there is no trust in a relationship, then there is no relationship to speak of. I tend to give trust to my friends, right from Day One, until such time as they betray it. Once betrayed, however, it is nearly impossible to regain my trust. I understand other people only give trust to others after it’s been earned. My loyalty to my friends is fierce and, once I’ve proven I’ve earned my friends’ trust, I am deeply insulted when either their trust is still not given or my own loyalty to them is doubted.
8. Double-standards are unacceptable. It is not okay for a guy to demand behaviour from me that he himself refuses to adhere to or, alternatively, it is not okay for a guy to prohibit me from being angered by his behaviour when, had the roles been reversed, he would be just as insanely angry. If he wants to be poly and/or flirt with every woman he sees and soak up their attention, that’s fine, but he’d bloody well better not expect me to stay home alone and pine away for him to return to me. I’m going to be just as much out there flirting and schmoozing, as he is, and he has absolutely no right to bitch and whine about it. If he doesn’t like how that feels when he’s on the receiving end of it, then he’d better not expect me to put up with that crap from him.
9. Communication. No shit. As psychic as I may be, it’s not my job to read your mind and know my way around your neuroses and tiptoe around the eggshells. If you’re uncomfortable with something, SPEAK UP or I won’t know. People need to communicate clearly, honestly, freely (none of this fishing out what people “really” feel, no one has time or patience for that mind-fuck, so just out with it already). I am sick of being held accountable for other people’s hurt and upset feelings when they hide the fact, in the first place, that they were upset. Don’t bitch at me for disrespecting your boundaries when you never communicated in the first place that you even HAD such boundaries. Own your shit. I demand people be 100% honest with me, and as such I take them at face value. Don’t misrepresent your wants and needs and feelings, expecting me to see through your pathetic deceptions as a means of crying out for attention. And don’t you dare blame me when I don’t see through your bullshit and read your messed up mind. Honestly communicate what you feel and think and want and need, and you’re more likely to garner more favorable results.
10. Manipulating people through guilt-trips, “crocodile tears” and self-imposed martyrdom is bullshit. Deal honestly with me, or don’t deal with me at all. Do not manipulate me to get your way, you are not a spoiled only child and it’s not gradeschool anymore. This is the real adult world; act like one or get your ass back in the sandbox.
Consider yourself warned...
1. I am poly. No one person will ever be enough to meet all of my needs. I can absolutely love steak, and prefer to eat steak all the time whenever I have a choice, however, not all my body’s needs are met by what steak alone has to offer; I also need what can be found only in fish, and only in chicken, and so on. It is not steak’s fault it doesn’t also provide what can be found in fish and chicken; steak is a wonderful thing all on its own and I can love it for itself and all it has to offer. But I also recognize that I do inevitably have to get other things from other foods besides steak. (And, to a lesser extent, I need variety so I don’t get bored. I can better appreciate the taste of steak when I’ve had the monotony of it broken up by other foods.)
2. I need the freedom to choose for myself whether or not to become involved with people. I can not stand being restricted to monogamy by a partner. If this is the case, I begin to resent said partner for controlling me and my decisions in my own life, and the resentment turns bitter and even hateful and I find I want to cheat as a means of rebelling against him and breaking the stranglehold I feel he has on me.
3. I am an incorrigible flirt. A lot of the time it is simply a means to compliment people and boost their self-esteem. In a world where there is so much negative feedback, I think people need more positive reinforcement. I do not consider my flirting as a means to get laid, and I think people put far too much emphasis on it as such.
4. I am bisexual. I am gender-blind in that I find people attractive or just plain sexy, regardless of whether they happen to be male or female. However, girls are still different from guys, and I have different needs of mine met by girls than I do by guys.
5. I don’t “do” girls just because they’re bi or female or willing to engage in threesomes. (Just cuz you’re a straight guy doesn’t mean you’ll fuck EVERYthing in a skirt.) Just because some guy finds 2 or more women attractive and wants to have them at the same time, doesn’t mean that the women he finds attractive will find eachother attractive. This is where I get all pissy thinking guys have been brought up to believe the bullshit fantasies in the male-dominated porn industry where, in actuality, it isn’t a fair threesome dynamic that is being enjoyed but multiple women catering to the man’s fantasies. Men in general just don’t seem capable of wrapping their brains around the fact that the women involved in the threesome are actually quite interested in the other woman and being with the other woman, and that they are both in the threesome for the purposes of being in an equal give and take multiple-partner orgy situation. If you want to indulge your fantasies of having multiple women worship you, then go rent some hookers.
6. I am fiercely independent and need my space. I like to come and go as I please, not having to “check in” with anyone, telling them where I’m going, with whom, when I’ll be back, etc. etc. I hate being chased after, hunted down, and forced to account for my absences and detail who I spent my time with. I can not stand having to explain my need for space, or to have to justify that I do, in fact, have such a need in the first place. I wasn’t an only child, but there is a significant age difference between myself and the remainder of my siblings (both of which are very close in age and therefore raised similar to twins), and whenever we did things as a family each parent would pair off with one of my brothers and I was always “odd man out” and had to keep myself company. As a result, I’ve become quite comfortable being alone and spending time with just myself. People must trust that my space is just me spending time with me, and should in no way be seen as a threat to any relationship with them.
7. Trust is big. If there is no trust in a relationship, then there is no relationship to speak of. I tend to give trust to my friends, right from Day One, until such time as they betray it. Once betrayed, however, it is nearly impossible to regain my trust. I understand other people only give trust to others after it’s been earned. My loyalty to my friends is fierce and, once I’ve proven I’ve earned my friends’ trust, I am deeply insulted when either their trust is still not given or my own loyalty to them is doubted.
8. Double-standards are unacceptable. It is not okay for a guy to demand behaviour from me that he himself refuses to adhere to or, alternatively, it is not okay for a guy to prohibit me from being angered by his behaviour when, had the roles been reversed, he would be just as insanely angry. If he wants to be poly and/or flirt with every woman he sees and soak up their attention, that’s fine, but he’d bloody well better not expect me to stay home alone and pine away for him to return to me. I’m going to be just as much out there flirting and schmoozing, as he is, and he has absolutely no right to bitch and whine about it. If he doesn’t like how that feels when he’s on the receiving end of it, then he’d better not expect me to put up with that crap from him.
9. Communication. No shit. As psychic as I may be, it’s not my job to read your mind and know my way around your neuroses and tiptoe around the eggshells. If you’re uncomfortable with something, SPEAK UP or I won’t know. People need to communicate clearly, honestly, freely (none of this fishing out what people “really” feel, no one has time or patience for that mind-fuck, so just out with it already). I am sick of being held accountable for other people’s hurt and upset feelings when they hide the fact, in the first place, that they were upset. Don’t bitch at me for disrespecting your boundaries when you never communicated in the first place that you even HAD such boundaries. Own your shit. I demand people be 100% honest with me, and as such I take them at face value. Don’t misrepresent your wants and needs and feelings, expecting me to see through your pathetic deceptions as a means of crying out for attention. And don’t you dare blame me when I don’t see through your bullshit and read your messed up mind. Honestly communicate what you feel and think and want and need, and you’re more likely to garner more favorable results.
10. Manipulating people through guilt-trips, “crocodile tears” and self-imposed martyrdom is bullshit. Deal honestly with me, or don’t deal with me at all. Do not manipulate me to get your way, you are not a spoiled only child and it’s not gradeschool anymore. This is the real adult world; act like one or get your ass back in the sandbox.
Consider yourself warned...
my "checklist"
· open-minded (doesn’t have to agree with something or actively engage in it, just has to not ridicule it or discriminate against it) and tolerant of diversity
· honest (withholding information is the same as lying)
· fair / equality (no double-standards; doesn’t subscribe to stereotypical or traditional gender roles)
· intelligent (I cannot abide stupid people)
· must have good personal hygiene and grooming habits (not a complete slob)
· non-smoker
· no alcoholics or drug-addicts
· not abusive (physically or verbally)
· responsible (so the stresses of keeping house, paying bills, raising kids, etc. doesn’t land solely on me)
· self-sufficient (I’m not raising a spouse alongside raising my children)
· financially stable (i.e. no welfare bums sitting on their ass mooching off me)
· self-starter / has initiative (I’m sick of leading people around by the nose cuz they’re too stupid to figure things out themselves)
· healthy attitude towards sex (not abusive, or repressed, or psychotic)
· not threatened by my flirting or my being flirted with
· agreeable to me remaining poly
· kinky (or, at the very least, willing to either indulge my fetishes or allow me an outlet to indulge them)
· pagan-tolerant
· honest (withholding information is the same as lying)
· fair / equality (no double-standards; doesn’t subscribe to stereotypical or traditional gender roles)
· intelligent (I cannot abide stupid people)
· must have good personal hygiene and grooming habits (not a complete slob)
· non-smoker
· no alcoholics or drug-addicts
· not abusive (physically or verbally)
· responsible (so the stresses of keeping house, paying bills, raising kids, etc. doesn’t land solely on me)
· self-sufficient (I’m not raising a spouse alongside raising my children)
· financially stable (i.e. no welfare bums sitting on their ass mooching off me)
· self-starter / has initiative (I’m sick of leading people around by the nose cuz they’re too stupid to figure things out themselves)
· healthy attitude towards sex (not abusive, or repressed, or psychotic)
· not threatened by my flirting or my being flirted with
· agreeable to me remaining poly
· kinky (or, at the very least, willing to either indulge my fetishes or allow me an outlet to indulge them)
· pagan-tolerant
the pitfalls of being the "Hot Bi Babe"
I came across this post dealing with poly couples who are seeking a "Hot Bi Babe" to join them as their "third". I've been approached by several couples myself, and I've always tended to avoid getting involved with them for exactly the following reasons.
posted by
in
:
There are plenty of core couples who invite people into their beds who sincerely and genuinely believe, in all honesty and without disingenuity, that they are inviting that person into their family and hearts, but who in reality are actually attempting, possibly without admitting it, to hold on to as many of the boundaries and certainties of monogamy as they can. I know many poly folk who have become involved with such couples, been badly burned, and will never again involve themselves with couples.
Such couples are arguably among the most common of the people actively seeking partners. You can spot such couples by a number of hallmarks, including:
- Most often, such couples have strict rules saying that a potential third person must date both of them; dating just one of them is unacceptable. Often, these rules explicitly state that that third person must be romantically involved with them "equally," whatever that means. Couples new to polyamory, who still have lingering abandonment fears, insecurities, or jealousies, often naively assume that the way to deal with jealousy is to date together, and that if both members of the couple date the same person, neither of them will feel jealous. These couples are often quite shocked when they learn that this is not true, and distressingly frequently blame that third person when one or both of them does in fact feel jealous.
- Most often, these couples insist that the third person be single. Any romantic interest on the part of that third person toward anyone else is deeply threatening and strictly prohibited; in fact, the couple may become highly defensive, jealous, or both simply by talking about that third person having other romantic connections.
- One classic indicator of such a couple is that the space available for that third person, the role that the third person will play, and even the practical day-to-day matters of the nature of the relationship are all clearly defined and explicitly laid out, before they have even met that third person. For example, I have seen couples looking for that third person who will say "That person must move in with us immediately, that person will sleep in the same bed with us," and so on--before they've even met that person. Needless to say, this essentially objectifies that hypothetical third person, and deprives that third person of any voice in the nature and shape of the relationship.
- That couple may claim that this hypothetical person is a "complete equal" that they will both "love and cherish" and that the third person will be a "full" member of the family and "complete them," yet still have rules and restrictions that clearly speak otherwise. For example, I've met several such couples who say "The third person can not have sex with either one of us alone; if she has sex with one of us, the other of us must also be there" (again in a naive belief that this will somehow prevent jealousy)--but if asked "Is it OK for that third person to say that the core couple can not have sex with each other if she is not there?" the answer is most commonly "no." Similarly, if the wife says to the husband "I feel threatened, so I want you to back off from having sex with the third for a little while," the response is very different from if that third person says "I feel threatened, so I want you to back off from having sex with your wife for a while."
Unfortunately, such couples are very, very, very common in parts of the poly community. You will see profiles all over PolyMatchMaker from married couples looking for a third for a "polyfidelitous triad where the third is involved with both of us equally and completes us." You will often find such couples at poly functions and in local poly groups--usually complaining that they can't find such a person and nobody will give them the time of day.
I personally know, right now, at this very moment in time, no fewer than five experienced, dedicated, practiced polyamorous women who identify as bisexual and are available for relationship. Three of them are currently single. All five of my friends are open to dating both halves of a couple, if that's the way the connections work out. Not one of them will go anywhere near a "couple looking for a third"--and with good reason.
When my most recent ex, Mike, was finally agreeable to a poly relationship (he pretended he was poly when we met, but demanded monogamy when we got together, and I reminded him that the ONLY reason I got involved with him in the first place was because he claimed to be poly and/or accepting of my being poly), he was adamant that any "third" we got involved with must adhere to the exact same situation as outlined above. I knew that wouldn't work, and therefore there was absolutely no future for any continuing relationship with him.
It doesn't just suck being the Hot Bi Babe, it also sucks being 1/2 of the Core Couple seeking the Hot Bi Babe when you really aren't interested in "sharing" said HBB with your other half. :-P
posted by
in
![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
:
![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
There are plenty of core couples who invite people into their beds who sincerely and genuinely believe, in all honesty and without disingenuity, that they are inviting that person into their family and hearts, but who in reality are actually attempting, possibly without admitting it, to hold on to as many of the boundaries and certainties of monogamy as they can. I know many poly folk who have become involved with such couples, been badly burned, and will never again involve themselves with couples.
Such couples are arguably among the most common of the people actively seeking partners. You can spot such couples by a number of hallmarks, including:
- Most often, such couples have strict rules saying that a potential third person must date both of them; dating just one of them is unacceptable. Often, these rules explicitly state that that third person must be romantically involved with them "equally," whatever that means. Couples new to polyamory, who still have lingering abandonment fears, insecurities, or jealousies, often naively assume that the way to deal with jealousy is to date together, and that if both members of the couple date the same person, neither of them will feel jealous. These couples are often quite shocked when they learn that this is not true, and distressingly frequently blame that third person when one or both of them does in fact feel jealous.
- Most often, these couples insist that the third person be single. Any romantic interest on the part of that third person toward anyone else is deeply threatening and strictly prohibited; in fact, the couple may become highly defensive, jealous, or both simply by talking about that third person having other romantic connections.
- One classic indicator of such a couple is that the space available for that third person, the role that the third person will play, and even the practical day-to-day matters of the nature of the relationship are all clearly defined and explicitly laid out, before they have even met that third person. For example, I have seen couples looking for that third person who will say "That person must move in with us immediately, that person will sleep in the same bed with us," and so on--before they've even met that person. Needless to say, this essentially objectifies that hypothetical third person, and deprives that third person of any voice in the nature and shape of the relationship.
- That couple may claim that this hypothetical person is a "complete equal" that they will both "love and cherish" and that the third person will be a "full" member of the family and "complete them," yet still have rules and restrictions that clearly speak otherwise. For example, I've met several such couples who say "The third person can not have sex with either one of us alone; if she has sex with one of us, the other of us must also be there" (again in a naive belief that this will somehow prevent jealousy)--but if asked "Is it OK for that third person to say that the core couple can not have sex with each other if she is not there?" the answer is most commonly "no." Similarly, if the wife says to the husband "I feel threatened, so I want you to back off from having sex with the third for a little while," the response is very different from if that third person says "I feel threatened, so I want you to back off from having sex with your wife for a while."
Unfortunately, such couples are very, very, very common in parts of the poly community. You will see profiles all over PolyMatchMaker from married couples looking for a third for a "polyfidelitous triad where the third is involved with both of us equally and completes us." You will often find such couples at poly functions and in local poly groups--usually complaining that they can't find such a person and nobody will give them the time of day.
I personally know, right now, at this very moment in time, no fewer than five experienced, dedicated, practiced polyamorous women who identify as bisexual and are available for relationship. Three of them are currently single. All five of my friends are open to dating both halves of a couple, if that's the way the connections work out. Not one of them will go anywhere near a "couple looking for a third"--and with good reason.
When my most recent ex, Mike, was finally agreeable to a poly relationship (he pretended he was poly when we met, but demanded monogamy when we got together, and I reminded him that the ONLY reason I got involved with him in the first place was because he claimed to be poly and/or accepting of my being poly), he was adamant that any "third" we got involved with must adhere to the exact same situation as outlined above. I knew that wouldn't work, and therefore there was absolutely no future for any continuing relationship with him.
It doesn't just suck being the Hot Bi Babe, it also sucks being 1/2 of the Core Couple seeking the Hot Bi Babe when you really aren't interested in "sharing" said HBB with your other half. :-P
I WISH I had written this
Dear Men of Craigslist,
Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.
But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME already. We've done dinner and drinks. We've gone dancing. We've cuddled and watched a movie. I'm wearing a low cut shirt and you've been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.
When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I'm not going to just lie still - I'll get involved. But don't make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We've been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That's nice, but it's time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don't make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won't go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don't gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It's not what WE want.
OK, I know it's scary. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don't think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men:
1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like "I'm sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I'll go slower." Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you're both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it's not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU'RE the man. Act like one.
2. Ohmyfuckinggod, please learn to respect the clit. It's different for every woman, so ask what she likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just wiggle your fingers around her pussy like you're trying to tickle her. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy. Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things. And if you really don't know what to do, ask her. Just ask. "How do you like it?". It's a simple question, and most women will answer straight out. If she's being all coy, ask "Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?" The clitoris is a varied item, indeed. Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked.
3. Most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Yes, there are women out there who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there (what the fuck is that about?!?!?!). It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Don't be too afraid of what this means as far as gender equality goes - I am a raging feminist bitch, but I still want to be penetrated like you are planning on fucking my throat from the inside out.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Do not act shocked if she wants you to spank her ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those laddie mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on. Judge her response and continue on from there. You don't have to bend her over one knee and tell her she's a naughty girl and that Daddy's going to punish her; save that for the fifth date. Women are less delicate than you think, so don't worry about breaking her hip.
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a woman, and she's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, she's going to feel like an idiot. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against her neck when you're in missionary position. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, she's going to get worried.
6. Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask her if she likes the way you fuck her. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is she still moaning in response? "Your tits are so beautiful." Does that work? If she doesn't respond well to the term "tits", you might have to stop there. If she keep moaning or responding, pass Go and collect $200. Try the following:
"Oh, god. Your pussy is SO tight."
"You're so wet - are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you?"
"I think I'm going to come inside you. I'm going to fill up your little cunt." It doesn't matter that you're wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy little bitch" and "dirty whore". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. You're not obligated to eat a woman out. In return, she's not obligated to choke on your dick. Don't skip one and expect the other. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is. The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush - you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary.
7. Do not bitch about condoms. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. But we don't want to be preggers, and you don't want to catch anything, right? Don't whine about condom sex. Do not explain that you can't come with one on. LEARN to come with one on, or if not, help us figure out what to do with you once we're satisfied and it's time for you to let loose your load.
8. We really like it when you come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don't assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there's no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. "I think I'm going to come - how do you like it?" is a fair question that shouldn't rob you of your testicles.
In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive, manly guy, and I've been... well, fucked is the wrong term here. I've been penetrated by a total and utter wuss. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? Manly McHardon, that's who. ----------------------------------------------------
*New point of clarification - I don't mean to imply that all women like to be treated like whores. I do mean to say that most women I know have told me that they like sex rougher than most men give it to them. Rough does NOT equal chains and bondage. And this applies to the bedroom only, and does not mean that she wants you to choose her dinner for her, or treat her like less of a person.
Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.
But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME already. We've done dinner and drinks. We've gone dancing. We've cuddled and watched a movie. I'm wearing a low cut shirt and you've been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.
When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I'm not going to just lie still - I'll get involved. But don't make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We've been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That's nice, but it's time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don't make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won't go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don't gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It's not what WE want.
OK, I know it's scary. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don't think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men:
1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like "I'm sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I'll go slower." Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you're both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it's not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU'RE the man. Act like one.
2. Ohmyfuckinggod, please learn to respect the clit. It's different for every woman, so ask what she likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just wiggle your fingers around her pussy like you're trying to tickle her. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy. Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things. And if you really don't know what to do, ask her. Just ask. "How do you like it?". It's a simple question, and most women will answer straight out. If she's being all coy, ask "Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?" The clitoris is a varied item, indeed. Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked.
3. Most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Yes, there are women out there who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there (what the fuck is that about?!?!?!). It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Don't be too afraid of what this means as far as gender equality goes - I am a raging feminist bitch, but I still want to be penetrated like you are planning on fucking my throat from the inside out.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Do not act shocked if she wants you to spank her ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those laddie mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on. Judge her response and continue on from there. You don't have to bend her over one knee and tell her she's a naughty girl and that Daddy's going to punish her; save that for the fifth date. Women are less delicate than you think, so don't worry about breaking her hip.
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a woman, and she's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, she's going to feel like an idiot. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against her neck when you're in missionary position. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, she's going to get worried.
6. Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask her if she likes the way you fuck her. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is she still moaning in response? "Your tits are so beautiful." Does that work? If she doesn't respond well to the term "tits", you might have to stop there. If she keep moaning or responding, pass Go and collect $200. Try the following:
"Oh, god. Your pussy is SO tight."
"You're so wet - are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you?"
"I think I'm going to come inside you. I'm going to fill up your little cunt." It doesn't matter that you're wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy little bitch" and "dirty whore". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. You're not obligated to eat a woman out. In return, she's not obligated to choke on your dick. Don't skip one and expect the other. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is. The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush - you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary.
7. Do not bitch about condoms. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. But we don't want to be preggers, and you don't want to catch anything, right? Don't whine about condom sex. Do not explain that you can't come with one on. LEARN to come with one on, or if not, help us figure out what to do with you once we're satisfied and it's time for you to let loose your load.
8. We really like it when you come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don't assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there's no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. "I think I'm going to come - how do you like it?" is a fair question that shouldn't rob you of your testicles.
In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive, manly guy, and I've been... well, fucked is the wrong term here. I've been penetrated by a total and utter wuss. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? Manly McHardon, that's who. ----------------------------------------------------
*New point of clarification - I don't mean to imply that all women like to be treated like whores. I do mean to say that most women I know have told me that they like sex rougher than most men give it to them. Rough does NOT equal chains and bondage. And this applies to the bedroom only, and does not mean that she wants you to choose her dinner for her, or treat her like less of a person.
long-term life plans
22 November 2005
I am currently a Legal Secretary as a means to an end. I've only ever had a deskjob and it's all I know how to do to generate a reliable income I can use to facilitate my life goals and pursuits.
I would rather spend my days self-employed; doing witchy things like divination and spellwork and energy workings and healings; reading and learning LOTS more about witchcraft/paganism, energy manipulation, meditation, visualization and manifestation, etc. I also want to learn more about and practice alternative forms of sex-positive expression including BDSM scening as a means of overcoming my own trained sexual repression and inhibitions, and as a means of meditation via altered states of consciousness. I want to promote sex-positive awareness in the community to combat the bullshit conditioning I myself was subjected to. I want to promote more realistic and healthy attitudes in the mainstream regarding female beauty and body image, incorporating bellydancing as a means of creative self-expression and celebrating the divinity inherent in each individual.
I want to write 2 books: a non-fiction everything you need to know about the ethics behind and practices of witchcraft (mostly to combat the fluffy-bunny bullshit whored to the ignorant masses by Llewellyn); and an autobiographical based fiction akin to 'Catcher in the Rye' and 'My So-Called Life' revolving around my own self-discovery and transition over the past 10 years.
I want to have children. I want to be self-employed or a writer so that I can stay at home to raise them. I want to instill in them healthy attitudes about body image, sex, self-expression, independent thinking, challenging the status quo and mindless conformity. I want to teach them values and consideration for others, courtesy and etiquette long disregarded in our society.
I would like to travel and experience other cultures. I want to wander through the monoliths at Stonehenge, and breathe in the residue of the past peoples and their energies. I want to busk at pubs in Ireland. I want to explore the tombs of the pharoahs and read the writings on the pyramids. I want to hike through the rainforests before they are gone forever. I want to be still in a Buddhist monastery.
I want a home that is always open to friends and family. I want to remain close to the amenities of the big city, but I want to be surrounded by vast and lush greenspace. I want weeping willows and tall verdent grasses, a babbling brook and a treehouse. I want a stone circle and a firepit, for an outdoor ritual space and a friendly bardic fire.
I want a partner who is open-minded and eager to learn new things. A teammate to maintain a household and raise children. A friend whose company I greatly enjoy and could never tire of. Who is secure in themselves and not threatened by my need to be poly and, in fact, who is willing to join me in experimenting and finding more and new ways to enjoy love and the company of others. Someone who I can trust, who can explore kink with me as a means of exciting and fulfilling recreation in addition to self-discovery and healing.
Is that too much to ask?
I am currently a Legal Secretary as a means to an end. I've only ever had a deskjob and it's all I know how to do to generate a reliable income I can use to facilitate my life goals and pursuits.
I would rather spend my days self-employed; doing witchy things like divination and spellwork and energy workings and healings; reading and learning LOTS more about witchcraft/paganism, energy manipulation, meditation, visualization and manifestation, etc. I also want to learn more about and practice alternative forms of sex-positive expression including BDSM scening as a means of overcoming my own trained sexual repression and inhibitions, and as a means of meditation via altered states of consciousness. I want to promote sex-positive awareness in the community to combat the bullshit conditioning I myself was subjected to. I want to promote more realistic and healthy attitudes in the mainstream regarding female beauty and body image, incorporating bellydancing as a means of creative self-expression and celebrating the divinity inherent in each individual.
I want to write 2 books: a non-fiction everything you need to know about the ethics behind and practices of witchcraft (mostly to combat the fluffy-bunny bullshit whored to the ignorant masses by Llewellyn); and an autobiographical based fiction akin to 'Catcher in the Rye' and 'My So-Called Life' revolving around my own self-discovery and transition over the past 10 years.
I want to have children. I want to be self-employed or a writer so that I can stay at home to raise them. I want to instill in them healthy attitudes about body image, sex, self-expression, independent thinking, challenging the status quo and mindless conformity. I want to teach them values and consideration for others, courtesy and etiquette long disregarded in our society.
I would like to travel and experience other cultures. I want to wander through the monoliths at Stonehenge, and breathe in the residue of the past peoples and their energies. I want to busk at pubs in Ireland. I want to explore the tombs of the pharoahs and read the writings on the pyramids. I want to hike through the rainforests before they are gone forever. I want to be still in a Buddhist monastery.
I want a home that is always open to friends and family. I want to remain close to the amenities of the big city, but I want to be surrounded by vast and lush greenspace. I want weeping willows and tall verdent grasses, a babbling brook and a treehouse. I want a stone circle and a firepit, for an outdoor ritual space and a friendly bardic fire.
I want a partner who is open-minded and eager to learn new things. A teammate to maintain a household and raise children. A friend whose company I greatly enjoy and could never tire of. Who is secure in themselves and not threatened by my need to be poly and, in fact, who is willing to join me in experimenting and finding more and new ways to enjoy love and the company of others. Someone who I can trust, who can explore kink with me as a means of exciting and fulfilling recreation in addition to self-discovery and healing.
Is that too much to ask?
redhead
there has been some discussion about whether I'm a blonde or a redhead
I maintain that I am a redhead based on the following:
- my skin is so pale it is translucent, which makes my blue veins highly visible and also any high levels of bloodflow coming to the surface of my skin
- I am particularly susceptible to fast and severe sunburn
- I have very sensitive skin (sensitive to allergens and irritations, etc)
- I have freckles and moles (really dark freckles)
- I am more sensitive/susceptible to thermal pain (burns)
- I require greater amounts of anaesthesia than the average person (just ask my dentist and the hospital who put me under to yank all 4 of my wisdom teeth)
- I have a greater than average pain tolerance (again, ask my dentist)
- my body hair is so pale blonde that it is nearly invisible
- my eyes range from light blue to turquoise to navy, and are extremely light-sensitive
- my dad, his brother, and their father all have red hair that was BRIGHT red in youth and has darkened to auburn as they aged
- my mother's father had bright blonde hair, and my mother's mother has black hair (blonde + black usually = red)
- my family origins are in Europe (particularly England and Scotland and Germany/Poland)
- as a child, my hair was WHITE-blonde, as a teenager my hair was YELLOW-blonde, now it is darkening and 1 out of every 10 strands is metallic RED
- every time I try to bleach my hair, it ends up ORANGE (blue is the first pigment to lift out of hair, then red, and lastly yellow)
- when dyed improperly, red hair tends to go dark green
which is supported by the following:
biochemistry & genetics of redheads
higher pain tolerance
but more sensitive and require more anaesthetic
redheads more susceptible to skin cancer
there are redheads in my dad's side of the family
redhead genetics
less medically-sound evidence
starts out light, but gets technical
makeup for redheads
skin type I
so there! :-P
interesting fact: less than 2% of the planet's population are redheads
I maintain that I am a redhead based on the following:
- my skin is so pale it is translucent, which makes my blue veins highly visible and also any high levels of bloodflow coming to the surface of my skin
- I am particularly susceptible to fast and severe sunburn
- I have very sensitive skin (sensitive to allergens and irritations, etc)
- I have freckles and moles (really dark freckles)
- I am more sensitive/susceptible to thermal pain (burns)
- I require greater amounts of anaesthesia than the average person (just ask my dentist and the hospital who put me under to yank all 4 of my wisdom teeth)
- I have a greater than average pain tolerance (again, ask my dentist)
- my body hair is so pale blonde that it is nearly invisible
- my eyes range from light blue to turquoise to navy, and are extremely light-sensitive
- my dad, his brother, and their father all have red hair that was BRIGHT red in youth and has darkened to auburn as they aged
- my mother's father had bright blonde hair, and my mother's mother has black hair (blonde + black usually = red)
- my family origins are in Europe (particularly England and Scotland and Germany/Poland)
- as a child, my hair was WHITE-blonde, as a teenager my hair was YELLOW-blonde, now it is darkening and 1 out of every 10 strands is metallic RED
- every time I try to bleach my hair, it ends up ORANGE (blue is the first pigment to lift out of hair, then red, and lastly yellow)
- when dyed improperly, red hair tends to go dark green
which is supported by the following:
biochemistry & genetics of redheads
higher pain tolerance
but more sensitive and require more anaesthetic
redheads more susceptible to skin cancer
there are redheads in my dad's side of the family
redhead genetics
less medically-sound evidence
starts out light, but gets technical
makeup for redheads
skin type I
so there! :-P
interesting fact: less than 2% of the planet's population are redheads
what my name means
There are 20 letters in your name
Those 20 letters total to 89
There are 8 vowels and 12 consonants in your name
Your number is: 8
The characteristics of 8 are: Practical endeavors, status oriented, power-seeking, high-material goals.
The expression or destiny for 8:
The 8 Expression is well-equipped in a managerial sense. You have outstanding organizational and administrative capabilities. You have the potential for considerable achievement in business or other powerful positions. You can expect to receive the financial and material rewards. You have the skill and abilities to establish or operate a business with great efficiency. You have good judgment when it comes to money and commercial matters, and you understand how to build and accumulate material wealth. Much of your success (or lack of it) may come due to your ability (or inability) to judge character. With the number 8 Expression, you exercise sound judgment in most of your affairs; you are realistic and practical in your approach to business matters.
The positive 8 Expression produces individuals that are very ambitious and goal-oriented. If the 8 energy is not in excess in your makeup, you will no doubt express these traits to some extent. No one has any more energy than a person with the 8 Expression who has a plan laid and is starting to work. No one has any more self-confidence, either. If you are expressing the positive qualities of 8, you are an outstanding manager because you can plan, initiate, and complete projects; you are very dependable and determined.
As it always happens, there can be too much of a good thing. If you have too much of the 8 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes. A negative 8 can be very rigid and stubborn. Ambition sometimes has a way of becoming over-ambition, and you may express an unreasonable impatience with the lack of progress. If your negative side is showing, you may be too exacting, both of yourself and of others. Sometimes this can even become a case of intolerance.
The number 8 is very materialistic and also very desirous of status and power. Neither of these drives are inherently negative unless they are taken to an extreme. You must avoid the tendency to strain after money, material matters, status, or power to the detriment of the other important factors in your life.
Your Soul Urge number is: 8
You have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.
Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.
The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.
Your Inner Dream number is: 9
You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and want to help them. You would love to be a person people count on for support and advice.
Those 20 letters total to 89
There are 8 vowels and 12 consonants in your name
Your number is: 8
The characteristics of 8 are: Practical endeavors, status oriented, power-seeking, high-material goals.
The expression or destiny for 8:
The 8 Expression is well-equipped in a managerial sense. You have outstanding organizational and administrative capabilities. You have the potential for considerable achievement in business or other powerful positions. You can expect to receive the financial and material rewards. You have the skill and abilities to establish or operate a business with great efficiency. You have good judgment when it comes to money and commercial matters, and you understand how to build and accumulate material wealth. Much of your success (or lack of it) may come due to your ability (or inability) to judge character. With the number 8 Expression, you exercise sound judgment in most of your affairs; you are realistic and practical in your approach to business matters.
The positive 8 Expression produces individuals that are very ambitious and goal-oriented. If the 8 energy is not in excess in your makeup, you will no doubt express these traits to some extent. No one has any more energy than a person with the 8 Expression who has a plan laid and is starting to work. No one has any more self-confidence, either. If you are expressing the positive qualities of 8, you are an outstanding manager because you can plan, initiate, and complete projects; you are very dependable and determined.
As it always happens, there can be too much of a good thing. If you have too much of the 8 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes. A negative 8 can be very rigid and stubborn. Ambition sometimes has a way of becoming over-ambition, and you may express an unreasonable impatience with the lack of progress. If your negative side is showing, you may be too exacting, both of yourself and of others. Sometimes this can even become a case of intolerance.
The number 8 is very materialistic and also very desirous of status and power. Neither of these drives are inherently negative unless they are taken to an extreme. You must avoid the tendency to strain after money, material matters, status, or power to the detriment of the other important factors in your life.
Your Soul Urge number is: 8
You have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.
Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.
The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.
Your Inner Dream number is: 9
You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and want to help them. You would love to be a person people count on for support and advice.
Kunky's Story
Kunky was born March 30, 1995. Mom and Dad drove up one day, Mom cradling him in her hands because he was that tiny; just a little ball of fur. (this this is a lookalike kitten I found that looks JUST like Kunky, but without the white nose) Adam and Andrew (my younger brothers) each already had their own kitten (now half-grown), and the only other cat we had had had been the family's to share. So this kitten was just for me. And of course he had to be black. Great pains were taken to ensure his fur would be dark black all the way through, not just black tipped grey, because of course I could only be presented with a suitably BLACK cat.
The teeniest baby ever, he was unabashedly spoiled. The first 2 weeks, he never left my bedroom. I think I kept a small litterbox in my closet? The entire double-bed to share with me and his very own pillow, and he could only sleep stretched out across my throat. The few times he slept on the pillow, it was between the top of my head and the headboard. He was spoiled and pampered, fiercely defended from Adam's terrorizing attacks, and crooned and coddled excessively when frightened.
Eventually the time came to venture forth into the Great Outdoors. Sitting in the grass, placing him among the chest-high blades, his alarmed mewing all the while climbing up onto my shoulders and neck and perching there like a bird, hiding under my hair at the nape of my neck, peeking out from behind my ear. All to suddenly it became known as "Kamp Kunky" that he would cry to be trapped indoor away from the yard.
My basement bedroom window was his pet door, the screen removed and the window locked open "one kitty width" to allow him access. Muddy pawprints forever marked my white wall below the window; drapes and venetian blinds were no longer sacred. Trying to keep him inside longer to sleep in with me only elicited bent and broken blinds. He appreciated Mummy and would return from his wanderings with muddy earthworms to feed me and care for me, in return for caring for him. Tossing them back out the window only garnered his annoyed and pouty meows of "Mom!?!"
His meow as a kitten sounded like a voice-breaking reverberation like breath off a blade of grass pressed between thumbs: "mee-ooow". For the next 10 years, he comes running when that sound is used to summon him to me.
Our "Christmas Visitor" one year was Mistletoe (aka Missy). Slightly older than a kitten, she was meant for the whole family, but adopted me as her mummy. Kunky, ever the agreeable host, welcomed her to our little unit and they became my "Bookends" (she happened to be white).
One night Kunky didn't come in at bedtime and I stayed up half the night searching the neighborhood. Days passed and I thought he must have been picked off by the coyotes. But as luck would have it, he was actually trapped in the neighbor's basement. Frightened by their children, he had hidden under the bed in the spare room and got locked in for a few days until discovered. Slightly thinner and skittish, it didn't take long for him to get over his trauma and revert to "Kamp Kunky" once again.
Then the time came that I moved out of home and was unable to take him with me to live at Jason's house (he was often babysitting his mother's cat for extended periods of time, and the cat was not agreeable to other cats). Possibly feeling abandoned by Mummy after years of spoiling, he was forced to fend for himself and re-establish himself in the household cats' hierarchy now that I was no longer there to protect him and foster him in my sanctuary. As new kittens joined the family, he assumed the role of denmother and nurtured the orphans who were slow to be accepted by the older cats; grooming them and snuggling with them and making sure they felt welcomed and accepted and loved. Periodic visits by me failed to elicit his exuberant affections, but instead met with his "pouting" and punishing me for abandoning him. Eventually, though, he came around and remembered me and how much I loved him and how much it hurt to have to leave him behind.
When I was moved to a place where I could finally have him live with me again, nearly 7 years had passed with him living in a large house full of other cats to play with, in a large neighborhood full of the Great Outdoors, and next door to the farmyard. It would have been cruel to force him to be an indoor apartment cat after having such a free and enjoyable life outside, especially taking into consideration how he would CRY when denied being let outside over night.
Whenever I would return home to visit, no matter where in the neighborhood he happened to be at the time, he recognized the sound of my car's engine and would rush to greet me in the front entryway before I can even get out of the parked car and call out "mee-ooow!" to summon him. Mummy was back to lavish him with love and cuddles and pets and spoil him absolutely rotten infront of all the other cats who could never be as special and loved and favoured as my Kunky.
Last year I moved back home, and with him again. Unable to keep him in my room due to his wanderlust and yearning to come and go at HIS choosing, he slept instead in the living room with the other cats rather than with me. Oftentimes, though, he would cry to be let into my room so he could come to bed and "tramp" on Mummy like a kitten attempting to nurse. In my absence, he had become Dad's cat to some extent, and seemed to enjoy vexing me by lavishing his kitty-affections on Dad while I was in the room to witness. The tramping and the drooling! What a brat! But he was adopted and well-cared-for by Dad in my absence, which is what he intended for me to see, and not that he was meaning to incite my jealousy and punish me but to show me that he was cared for so I could be reassured that he hadn't been neglected.
Then, again, I had to move out and again it would have been cruel to take him away from the only home he had known. He would have to endure, yet again, the pain of being abandoned by Mummy. But a few days later I would return to lavish attention on him. And then again another few days later. And the last time he had been doted on during my visit I lavished excessive attentions on him: a thorough brushing of his messy fur with a fine-toothed comb and a kitty backrub, and LOTS of frisking in the yard with him, following him while he showed me all his world he wanted me to see.
And now I have shown you.
The teeniest baby ever, he was unabashedly spoiled. The first 2 weeks, he never left my bedroom. I think I kept a small litterbox in my closet? The entire double-bed to share with me and his very own pillow, and he could only sleep stretched out across my throat. The few times he slept on the pillow, it was between the top of my head and the headboard. He was spoiled and pampered, fiercely defended from Adam's terrorizing attacks, and crooned and coddled excessively when frightened.
Eventually the time came to venture forth into the Great Outdoors. Sitting in the grass, placing him among the chest-high blades, his alarmed mewing all the while climbing up onto my shoulders and neck and perching there like a bird, hiding under my hair at the nape of my neck, peeking out from behind my ear. All to suddenly it became known as "Kamp Kunky" that he would cry to be trapped indoor away from the yard.
My basement bedroom window was his pet door, the screen removed and the window locked open "one kitty width" to allow him access. Muddy pawprints forever marked my white wall below the window; drapes and venetian blinds were no longer sacred. Trying to keep him inside longer to sleep in with me only elicited bent and broken blinds. He appreciated Mummy and would return from his wanderings with muddy earthworms to feed me and care for me, in return for caring for him. Tossing them back out the window only garnered his annoyed and pouty meows of "Mom!?!"
His meow as a kitten sounded like a voice-breaking reverberation like breath off a blade of grass pressed between thumbs: "mee-ooow". For the next 10 years, he comes running when that sound is used to summon him to me.
Our "Christmas Visitor" one year was Mistletoe (aka Missy). Slightly older than a kitten, she was meant for the whole family, but adopted me as her mummy. Kunky, ever the agreeable host, welcomed her to our little unit and they became my "Bookends" (she happened to be white).
One night Kunky didn't come in at bedtime and I stayed up half the night searching the neighborhood. Days passed and I thought he must have been picked off by the coyotes. But as luck would have it, he was actually trapped in the neighbor's basement. Frightened by their children, he had hidden under the bed in the spare room and got locked in for a few days until discovered. Slightly thinner and skittish, it didn't take long for him to get over his trauma and revert to "Kamp Kunky" once again.
Then the time came that I moved out of home and was unable to take him with me to live at Jason's house (he was often babysitting his mother's cat for extended periods of time, and the cat was not agreeable to other cats). Possibly feeling abandoned by Mummy after years of spoiling, he was forced to fend for himself and re-establish himself in the household cats' hierarchy now that I was no longer there to protect him and foster him in my sanctuary. As new kittens joined the family, he assumed the role of denmother and nurtured the orphans who were slow to be accepted by the older cats; grooming them and snuggling with them and making sure they felt welcomed and accepted and loved. Periodic visits by me failed to elicit his exuberant affections, but instead met with his "pouting" and punishing me for abandoning him. Eventually, though, he came around and remembered me and how much I loved him and how much it hurt to have to leave him behind.
When I was moved to a place where I could finally have him live with me again, nearly 7 years had passed with him living in a large house full of other cats to play with, in a large neighborhood full of the Great Outdoors, and next door to the farmyard. It would have been cruel to force him to be an indoor apartment cat after having such a free and enjoyable life outside, especially taking into consideration how he would CRY when denied being let outside over night.
Whenever I would return home to visit, no matter where in the neighborhood he happened to be at the time, he recognized the sound of my car's engine and would rush to greet me in the front entryway before I can even get out of the parked car and call out "mee-ooow!" to summon him. Mummy was back to lavish him with love and cuddles and pets and spoil him absolutely rotten infront of all the other cats who could never be as special and loved and favoured as my Kunky.
Last year I moved back home, and with him again. Unable to keep him in my room due to his wanderlust and yearning to come and go at HIS choosing, he slept instead in the living room with the other cats rather than with me. Oftentimes, though, he would cry to be let into my room so he could come to bed and "tramp" on Mummy like a kitten attempting to nurse. In my absence, he had become Dad's cat to some extent, and seemed to enjoy vexing me by lavishing his kitty-affections on Dad while I was in the room to witness. The tramping and the drooling! What a brat! But he was adopted and well-cared-for by Dad in my absence, which is what he intended for me to see, and not that he was meaning to incite my jealousy and punish me but to show me that he was cared for so I could be reassured that he hadn't been neglected.
Then, again, I had to move out and again it would have been cruel to take him away from the only home he had known. He would have to endure, yet again, the pain of being abandoned by Mummy. But a few days later I would return to lavish attention on him. And then again another few days later. And the last time he had been doted on during my visit I lavished excessive attentions on him: a thorough brushing of his messy fur with a fine-toothed comb and a kitty backrub, and LOTS of frisking in the yard with him, following him while he showed me all his world he wanted me to see.
And now I have shown you.
. . .
21 August 2005
I'm having a bad week. Actually, I'm having a good week; me who always bombs interviews managed to nail both of them, and got myself successfully entrenched in full-time paying work even before September 1st so there is absolutely no question that I will be able to make rent on a reliable "I don't need to look to anyone else to be my Safety Net" consistent basis. The law firm I'm going to appears to be designed with an Ange-shaped hole that I am ideal to fit into, allowing me the autonomy to organize all within my realm and work away unfettered by prattling co-workers far in the back corner of the office with, lo, a large mirror beside my desk so I can be distracted by obsessive-compulsive bad hair days on a regular basis.
But I got a call from Dad (inbetween the aforementioned interviews) that my cat had gone missing and was quite possibly the same cat that Dad happened along being scraped up off the side of the road a couple days later. I say this in my usual distanced dry humour because I think it shields me, keeps the pain at arm's length. Only it doesn't. All week I figured it wasn't true; Dad never identified the cat so it's very possible it wasn't mine at all, and the cat has gone missing before and always wandered back within a few days. So I'm still expecting, any day now, for Dad to phone and say my cat has just wandered back home again. But each day that passes makes me that much more sure that that's not going to happen. So grief is setting in, and I just want to lie here and stare at nothing. Wanting the world around me to stop, give me time to --what? adjust? Or just stop being. But it keeps going, and dragging me along with it.
It makes me get up in the morning and concentrate on work. As much as I want to stay in bed for weeks on end, that would only ensure I have no job and hence no money and soon enough no roof over my head where I *could* stay in bed all day.
It continues to house my friends who care, who keep inviting me out to partake in this "life" shit everyone else is so keen on. Dragging me to SCA events where they all ask how I'm doing cuz they care, but only in passing since I'm too much of an investment to get really in-depthly involved in my "stuff". Dragging me off to parties where I'm supposed to be little miss cheerleader life of the party or at least content and satisfied with life because there are guys trying to be my boyfriend and shouldn't that make me happy? Yeah, cuz I need more people around me in my life to be taken away. More liars to trick me while they chain me to their pedestal.
I know there is a reason for everything, and the cycle of life and death keeps turning no matter who tries so hard to stop it, and that it's best he went now before the suspected tooth rot could cause him complications that would see him slowly starve to death in agony. But I'm just not ready to let him go yet. And it's stupid that a woman nigh on 30 is so ridiculously weepy over something as insignificant as a pet. It's not like it's a HUMAN, which we're supposed to have infinitely more love for and regard so much more highly. So I should just grow the fuck up already!
Animals don't play you, don't lie to you. Don't pretend to feel anything for you that they honestly don't feel. They love, and they are loyal. And they remember when you slight them. They are upfront. They hear your unvoiced pain. They don't always come when you call, and they're often underfoot at the most inopportune times, but they're always there for you when you need them. Most of the time I think they're better than people.
this is a picture of Kunky
I'm having a bad week. Actually, I'm having a good week; me who always bombs interviews managed to nail both of them, and got myself successfully entrenched in full-time paying work even before September 1st so there is absolutely no question that I will be able to make rent on a reliable "I don't need to look to anyone else to be my Safety Net" consistent basis. The law firm I'm going to appears to be designed with an Ange-shaped hole that I am ideal to fit into, allowing me the autonomy to organize all within my realm and work away unfettered by prattling co-workers far in the back corner of the office with, lo, a large mirror beside my desk so I can be distracted by obsessive-compulsive bad hair days on a regular basis.
But I got a call from Dad (inbetween the aforementioned interviews) that my cat had gone missing and was quite possibly the same cat that Dad happened along being scraped up off the side of the road a couple days later. I say this in my usual distanced dry humour because I think it shields me, keeps the pain at arm's length. Only it doesn't. All week I figured it wasn't true; Dad never identified the cat so it's very possible it wasn't mine at all, and the cat has gone missing before and always wandered back within a few days. So I'm still expecting, any day now, for Dad to phone and say my cat has just wandered back home again. But each day that passes makes me that much more sure that that's not going to happen. So grief is setting in, and I just want to lie here and stare at nothing. Wanting the world around me to stop, give me time to --what? adjust? Or just stop being. But it keeps going, and dragging me along with it.
It makes me get up in the morning and concentrate on work. As much as I want to stay in bed for weeks on end, that would only ensure I have no job and hence no money and soon enough no roof over my head where I *could* stay in bed all day.
It continues to house my friends who care, who keep inviting me out to partake in this "life" shit everyone else is so keen on. Dragging me to SCA events where they all ask how I'm doing cuz they care, but only in passing since I'm too much of an investment to get really in-depthly involved in my "stuff". Dragging me off to parties where I'm supposed to be little miss cheerleader life of the party or at least content and satisfied with life because there are guys trying to be my boyfriend and shouldn't that make me happy? Yeah, cuz I need more people around me in my life to be taken away. More liars to trick me while they chain me to their pedestal.
I know there is a reason for everything, and the cycle of life and death keeps turning no matter who tries so hard to stop it, and that it's best he went now before the suspected tooth rot could cause him complications that would see him slowly starve to death in agony. But I'm just not ready to let him go yet. And it's stupid that a woman nigh on 30 is so ridiculously weepy over something as insignificant as a pet. It's not like it's a HUMAN, which we're supposed to have infinitely more love for and regard so much more highly. So I should just grow the fuck up already!
Animals don't play you, don't lie to you. Don't pretend to feel anything for you that they honestly don't feel. They love, and they are loyal. And they remember when you slight them. They are upfront. They hear your unvoiced pain. They don't always come when you call, and they're often underfoot at the most inopportune times, but they're always there for you when you need them. Most of the time I think they're better than people.
this is a picture of Kunky
01 January 2005
learn to fucking DRIVE !!!
posted by 
sombrehippie in snarkyvancouver:
Dear Pedestrians of Vancouver,
DO NOT JAYWALK. And if you do, don't fucking finger me for almost hitting you when I don't see you in time, and you don't bother to change your slow-ass pace in order to avoid being hit, you dumb fuck. Darwin had a name for people like you: Dead meat.
Dear Drivers of Vancouver,
In addition to the above mentioned requests, I would like to add in a couple of my own.
USE YOUR DAMNED TURN SIGNALS. What the hell do you think they're there for? When you slam on your brakes randomly in traffic, without signalling, you're likely to get a car rammed up your ass.
Secondly, TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS. At night, this should be obvious. NOBODY CAN SEE YOU. And no, that person behind you flashing their lights at you every few minutes isn't just a retard they let out for an evening drive, no, their car is not just broken, and no, they're not just trying to be a cunt. They're trying to tell you something. They're trying to tell you that YOU'S GONNA DIE if you don't do something about it.
During the daytime, headlights are equally important. Running lights are usually not enough. If it's cloudy, 90% of you drive grey or black cars, and blend in very nicely with the grey or black roadways. In the rain, everybody blends with everything. In the sun, you're darker than the blinding ball of fire in the sky, and if you don't send out your own blinding beams of light, you cease to exist.
Also, if you're going to drive slower than, or at the exact speed of the people in the slow lane, you should not be in the fast lane. Move the hell over, retard. There are other people around you who don't want to drive 70 in a 90 zone, or 40 in a 50.
Finally, pay some fucking attention to something other than your passengers, whoever you're talking to on that goddamned cell phone, or the cock up your ass.
kthxbye.
sombrehippie in snarkyvancouver:Dear Pedestrians of Vancouver,
DO NOT JAYWALK. And if you do, don't fucking finger me for almost hitting you when I don't see you in time, and you don't bother to change your slow-ass pace in order to avoid being hit, you dumb fuck. Darwin had a name for people like you: Dead meat.
Dear Drivers of Vancouver,
In addition to the above mentioned requests, I would like to add in a couple of my own.
USE YOUR DAMNED TURN SIGNALS. What the hell do you think they're there for? When you slam on your brakes randomly in traffic, without signalling, you're likely to get a car rammed up your ass.
Secondly, TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS. At night, this should be obvious. NOBODY CAN SEE YOU. And no, that person behind you flashing their lights at you every few minutes isn't just a retard they let out for an evening drive, no, their car is not just broken, and no, they're not just trying to be a cunt. They're trying to tell you something. They're trying to tell you that YOU'S GONNA DIE if you don't do something about it.
During the daytime, headlights are equally important. Running lights are usually not enough. If it's cloudy, 90% of you drive grey or black cars, and blend in very nicely with the grey or black roadways. In the rain, everybody blends with everything. In the sun, you're darker than the blinding ball of fire in the sky, and if you don't send out your own blinding beams of light, you cease to exist.
Also, if you're going to drive slower than, or at the exact speed of the people in the slow lane, you should not be in the fast lane. Move the hell over, retard. There are other people around you who don't want to drive 70 in a 90 zone, or 40 in a 50.
Finally, pay some fucking attention to something other than your passengers, whoever you're talking to on that goddamned cell phone, or the cock up your ass.
kthxbye.
FYI: Tips to Surviving the Flu of the Apocalypse
Tips to Surviving the Flu of the Apocalypse:
for the first 12 hours:
- water
- set up a sleeping pallet on the bathroom floor. I'm not kidding.
for the next 12 hours:
- watered down apple juice
- whole wheat (Breton) crackers
- disgusting amounts of sleep/bedrest
the 24 hours after that:
- you can sneak in some ginger ale now
- you can add cheese to the crackers
- you should be able to keep down soup broth
- you can now live on the couch with blankets and the tv running
the next 2 days:
- bland foods that are gentle on your tummy (no spicy!)
for the first 12 hours:
- water
- set up a sleeping pallet on the bathroom floor. I'm not kidding.
for the next 12 hours:
- watered down apple juice
- whole wheat (Breton) crackers
- disgusting amounts of sleep/bedrest
the 24 hours after that:
- you can sneak in some ginger ale now
- you can add cheese to the crackers
- you should be able to keep down soup broth
- you can now live on the couch with blankets and the tv running
the next 2 days:
- bland foods that are gentle on your tummy (no spicy!)
How Bad is Your Boss?
I was watching Venture on CBC last night, and they were doing an expose on Bad Bosses. This is a list/questionnaire of the 7 Deadly Boss Sins:
1. Does your boss embarrass you in public or criticize you infront of others?
2. Does your boss have a tough time making or sticking to decisions s/he has made?
3. Does your boss take you for granted?
4. Does your boss hog the limelight when things go well and/or blame you when things go wrong?
5. Does your boss argue about everything?
6. Is your boss unclear about what s/he expects of you?
7. Does your boss pile on the work or have an unrealistic expectation of the workload s/he dumps on you?
If you answered "yes" to
1-2 of the above 7 questions: your boss may stress you out at times, but they're normal
3-6 of the above 7 questions: you have a Bad Boss - confront them (carefully) and/or consider quitting
all 7 of the above 7 questions: Boss From Hell - run the fuck away!
1. Does your boss embarrass you in public or criticize you infront of others?
2. Does your boss have a tough time making or sticking to decisions s/he has made?
3. Does your boss take you for granted?
4. Does your boss hog the limelight when things go well and/or blame you when things go wrong?
5. Does your boss argue about everything?
6. Is your boss unclear about what s/he expects of you?
7. Does your boss pile on the work or have an unrealistic expectation of the workload s/he dumps on you?
If you answered "yes" to
1-2 of the above 7 questions: your boss may stress you out at times, but they're normal
3-6 of the above 7 questions: you have a Bad Boss - confront them (carefully) and/or consider quitting
all 7 of the above 7 questions: Boss From Hell - run the fuck away!
Hi. I'm a Mac. And I'm a PC.
PARODY 1
PARODY 2
PARODY 3
PARODY 4
and now with Batman!
Batman part 2
PARODY 7
Villains Edition
X-MEN
but the After Hours ones are to die for!!!
After Hours 1
After Hours 2
After Hours 3
After Hours 4
After Hours 5
After Hours 6 part 1
After Hours 6 part 2
After Hours 7 part 1
After Hours 7 part 2
Fantastic Four quickie (unrelated to the above)
Goblin Bloggin'
Goblin Blogs Again
PARODY 1
PARODY 2
PARODY 3
PARODY 4
and now with Batman!
Batman part 2
PARODY 7
Villains Edition
X-MEN
but the After Hours ones are to die for!!!
After Hours 1
After Hours 2
After Hours 3
After Hours 4
After Hours 5
After Hours 6 part 1
After Hours 6 part 2
After Hours 7 part 1
After Hours 7 part 2
Fantastic Four quickie (unrelated to the above)
Goblin Bloggin'
Goblin Blogs Again
Batgirl meme on LiveJournal
http://himynameisjamie.livejournal.com/345568.html
OMG! this was addicting! I think it's up around 1,000 now.
Here's a short(er) list of the ones I liked:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/shpout/13148.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/lelenia/14558.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/envertigo/2283.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jrw/14341.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/divalea/277585.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/steverolston/22256.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/fuelinjected/10722.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mao/203306.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ian_j/63648.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/flamingwingnut/102764.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jodycody/16090.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/chrispiers/189429.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/uminomamori/217446.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wtf/415118.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/darkkof/87813.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/taniadelrio/12970.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bangalores/13754.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/boomshackaboom/10842.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/leilamycro/2521.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/spacecaptsteve/197967.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/januarychill/285630.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/codename_windy/245390.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/chainsawkarate/188047.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wumpusbait/18141.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/frogdance/138596.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/johnythunderz/31688.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/skyediver/82731.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/100kilopascals/23511.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sporecloud/16391.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/p_x_l/12623.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/puppy52/719412.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/gymnopedie/297303.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/vagrantkid/90960.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bettinamarie/9636.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/berserkermodi/183824.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/arti_absinthium/467145.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/matthew_sun/110557.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/doctorobnoxious/664079.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kyohazard/50211.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/madrigallia/14639.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kluna66502/22301.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/newbabel/316204.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wishdragon/326437.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/violetice/186870.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/allcuishpa/227219.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/killerseamonkey/931.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/__renascent/32313.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mrl24/71680.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/shored/18302.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/teitha_noriel/48075.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/teitha_noriel/48284.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/riotlounge/1006629.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pceflwrgrl/197655.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/tarq/272811.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/candiedviolets/90069.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wogs/617454.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_muffinfuck/229301.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pyawakit/339.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sukeban/165147.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/freakflipmonkey/44766.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/belvane/323193.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/holeinthedonut/525098.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/barbituratecat/55546.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kaeze/8600.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/zorilita/12353.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/shutterbox/24368.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pablowapsi/38630.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/funkywufeithang/305236.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/nebriniel/30949.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/autumnravynne/51242.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/aimo/84183.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/macky_chan/307728.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/staedtler/217980.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/menkui/14222.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/~zeroplug/27222.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/rajrr/28429.html
OMG! this was addicting! I think it's up around 1,000 now.
Here's a short(er) list of the ones I liked:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/shpout/13148.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/lelenia/14558.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/envertigo/2283.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jrw/14341.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/divalea/277585.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/steverolston/22256.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/fuelinjected/10722.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mao/203306.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ian_j/63648.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/flamingwingnut/102764.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jodycody/16090.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/chrispiers/189429.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/uminomamori/217446.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wtf/415118.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/darkkof/87813.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/taniadelrio/12970.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bangalores/13754.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/boomshackaboom/10842.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/leilamycro/2521.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/spacecaptsteve/197967.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/januarychill/285630.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/codename_windy/245390.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/chainsawkarate/188047.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wumpusbait/18141.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/frogdance/138596.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/johnythunderz/31688.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/skyediver/82731.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/100kilopascals/23511.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sporecloud/16391.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/p_x_l/12623.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/puppy52/719412.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/gymnopedie/297303.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/vagrantkid/90960.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bettinamarie/9636.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/berserkermodi/183824.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/arti_absinthium/467145.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/matthew_sun/110557.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/doctorobnoxious/664079.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kyohazard/50211.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/madrigallia/14639.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kluna66502/22301.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/newbabel/316204.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wishdragon/326437.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/violetice/186870.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/allcuishpa/227219.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/killerseamonkey/931.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/__renascent/32313.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mrl24/71680.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/shored/18302.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/teitha_noriel/48075.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/teitha_noriel/48284.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/riotlounge/1006629.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pceflwrgrl/197655.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/tarq/272811.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/candiedviolets/90069.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/wogs/617454.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_muffinfuck/229301.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pyawakit/339.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sukeban/165147.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/freakflipmonkey/44766.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/belvane/323193.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/holeinthedonut/525098.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/barbituratecat/55546.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kaeze/8600.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/zorilita/12353.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/shutterbox/24368.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/pablowapsi/38630.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/funkywufeithang/305236.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/nebriniel/30949.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/autumnravynne/51242.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/aimo/84183.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/macky_chan/307728.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/staedtler/217980.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/menkui/14222.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/~zeroplug/27222.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/rajrr/28429.html
history bites
30 March 2006
Back in the 17th Century, in the time of the "cavaliers", there was a particular practice in place. These cavaliers, always dressed to the 9s in the finest clothes, would visit shops and tailors and have clothes made for them, but did not pay in cash. They appeared to be rich and therefore more than capable of paying for the clothes they were buying and having made, so the merchants and tailors accepted "credit". (recently illustrated in a scene of "The Libertine")
In actuality, the cavaliers were BROKE as all hell, but since they appeared to have money, they were treated as if they had money and were given credit.
Apparently I was a well-dressed Suit today, as my bank/debit card wasn't working at the japanese restaurant on the corner and they insisted I simply pay the next time I visited them!
400 years later, and I'm the walking anachronism.
No, I'm not suffering withdrawal from the SCA...
Back in the 17th Century, in the time of the "cavaliers", there was a particular practice in place. These cavaliers, always dressed to the 9s in the finest clothes, would visit shops and tailors and have clothes made for them, but did not pay in cash. They appeared to be rich and therefore more than capable of paying for the clothes they were buying and having made, so the merchants and tailors accepted "credit". (recently illustrated in a scene of "The Libertine")
In actuality, the cavaliers were BROKE as all hell, but since they appeared to have money, they were treated as if they had money and were given credit.
Apparently I was a well-dressed Suit today, as my bank/debit card wasn't working at the japanese restaurant on the corner and they insisted I simply pay the next time I visited them!
400 years later, and I'm the walking anachronism.
No, I'm not suffering withdrawal from the SCA...
middle eastern garb
I think I'm gearing up for Clinton this year... I was online for hours last night researching 16th century Turkish costume.
Links for those interested:
gomlek/entari/kaftan pattern
fabrics used
source documentation
more examples of kaftans from history
a local's website showing her own garb
I have more links, but they're bookmarked on my computer at home, and I'm currently posting from work. I'll have to edit this post later to add those ones.
Ottoman clothing
from The Costumer's Manifesto
Oryantal Dansi at Yahoo!Groups
Basically, it's pj bottoms, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and layers of bathrobes. period LOUNGEWEAR!!! w00t!
I haven't played regularly in about 4 years, but every once in a while I think I'd like to cruise by an event and visit with friends and whatnot. So I would go to my Tickle Trunk and root around for something to wear, and I'd end up in garb that no longer fits (I must have gained 20 lbs in the past 4 years) or just plain doesn't look good on me or feel comfortable enough to spend 18+ hours in. So I'd get all cranky and disappointed and just not go.
And if I were to make new garb now, you know I'd be the costume-nazi who would obsess over getting it absolutely authentic in the first place. Hence the online research.
I haven't planned to attend an SCA event in years, I just end up deciding at the last minute to daytrip, but after spending a few hours getting garbed and packed up and travel out to the site, it's just too much damn work. I don't think I'd be as deterred by the idea if I could just reach into my trunk, grab some co-ordinating layers, and be out the door in minutes.
So I'll be cruising by the Indian fabric stores next time I'm in Abby to get a bolt of white lightweight (turban-weight) cotton to make a few gomleks to get started...
Links for those interested:
gomlek/entari/kaftan pattern
fabrics used
source documentation
more examples of kaftans from history
a local's website showing her own garb
I have more links, but they're bookmarked on my computer at home, and I'm currently posting from work. I'll have to edit this post later to add those ones.
Ottoman clothing
from The Costumer's Manifesto
Oryantal Dansi at Yahoo!Groups
Basically, it's pj bottoms, a long-sleeved t-shirt, and layers of bathrobes. period LOUNGEWEAR!!! w00t!
I haven't played regularly in about 4 years, but every once in a while I think I'd like to cruise by an event and visit with friends and whatnot. So I would go to my Tickle Trunk and root around for something to wear, and I'd end up in garb that no longer fits (I must have gained 20 lbs in the past 4 years) or just plain doesn't look good on me or feel comfortable enough to spend 18+ hours in. So I'd get all cranky and disappointed and just not go.
And if I were to make new garb now, you know I'd be the costume-nazi who would obsess over getting it absolutely authentic in the first place. Hence the online research.
I haven't planned to attend an SCA event in years, I just end up deciding at the last minute to daytrip, but after spending a few hours getting garbed and packed up and travel out to the site, it's just too much damn work. I don't think I'd be as deterred by the idea if I could just reach into my trunk, grab some co-ordinating layers, and be out the door in minutes.
So I'll be cruising by the Indian fabric stores next time I'm in Abby to get a bolt of white lightweight (turban-weight) cotton to make a few gomleks to get started...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
