long-term life plans

22 November 2005

I am currently a Legal Secretary as a means to an end.  I've only ever had a deskjob and it's all I know how to do to generate a reliable income I can use to facilitate my life goals and pursuits.

I would rather spend my days self-employed; doing witchy things like divination and spellwork and energy workings and healings; reading and learning LOTS more about witchcraft/paganism, energy manipulation, meditation, visualization and manifestation, etc.  I also want to learn more about and practice alternative forms of sex-positive expression including BDSM scening as a means of overcoming my own trained sexual repression and inhibitions, and as a means of meditation via altered states of consciousness.  I want to promote sex-positive awareness in the community to combat the bullshit conditioning I myself was subjected to.  I want to promote more realistic and healthy attitudes in the mainstream regarding female beauty and body image, incorporating bellydancing as a means of creative self-expression and celebrating the divinity inherent in each individual.

I want to write 2 books: a non-fiction everything you need to know about the ethics behind and practices of witchcraft (mostly to combat the fluffy-bunny bullshit whored to the ignorant masses by Llewellyn); and an autobiographical based fiction akin to 'Catcher in the Rye' and 'My So-Called Life' revolving around my own self-discovery and transition over the past 10 years.

I want to have children.  I want to be self-employed or a writer so that I can stay at home to raise them.  I want to instill in them healthy attitudes about body image, sex, self-expression, independent thinking, challenging the status quo and mindless conformity.  I want to teach them values and consideration for others, courtesy and etiquette long disregarded in our society.

I would like to travel and experience other cultures.  I want to wander through the monoliths at Stonehenge, and breathe in the residue of the past peoples and their energies.  I want to busk at pubs in Ireland.  I want to explore the tombs of the pharoahs and read the writings on the pyramids.  I want to hike through the rainforests before they are gone forever.  I want to be still in a Buddhist monastery.

I want a home that is always open to friends and family.  I want to remain close to the amenities of the big city, but I want to be surrounded by vast and lush greenspace.  I want weeping willows and tall verdent grasses, a babbling brook and a treehouse.  I want a stone circle and a firepit, for an outdoor ritual space and a friendly bardic fire.

I want a partner who is open-minded and eager to learn new things.  A teammate to maintain a household and raise children.  A friend whose company I greatly enjoy and could never tire of.  Who is secure in themselves and not threatened by my need to be poly and, in fact, who is willing to join me in experimenting and finding more and new ways to enjoy love and the company of others.  Someone who I can trust, who can explore kink with me as a means of exciting and fulfilling recreation in addition to self-discovery and healing.

Is that too much to ask?